Job Search Advice Archives - Page 4 of 14

Job Seeking – Dealing with Negativity Through a Positive Attitude

We read a lot about being positive and maintaining a positive attitude to things. Sometimes, when you read those sort of articles you are left thinking that it’s not okay to have negative thoughts or to react to something. If you are a job seeker then you will invariably face rejection and your instinctive response isn’t to think “that’s great” is it?

I am a great believer in focusing on the positive and projecting a positive image to the world. But is is okay, in fact it is more than “okay” to be disappointed or annoyed by that rejection email or telephone call.

“Their Loss” or “sounds like a lucky escape” is my better half’s response when I get the dreaded rejection after an interview. Whilst I always know that it’s intended to focus me in a positive way I am sure that any job seeker will be able to tell you that it can be disheartening. This is especially so when you get nonsensical feedback such as I received recently that “you didn’t give any examples of XYZ” during the interview to which my response if I had been able to give it to the interviewer was “you didn’t ask any questions around XYZ.”

That reaction to a disappointing outcome is potentially negative isn’t it? But it’s how we react after the initial reaction and process it that matters.

So, allow yourself to have a negative reaction and then you need to focus yourself on the next opportunity that you are pursuing. The following are some ideas on how you can do this.

The best way to eliminate negativity is to develop a positive attitude. Your thoughts and outlook on life have a profound effect on how you live your life. They are also contagious and affect those around you. You can’t have both positive and negative in the same space. So why not focus on turning the negativity into something more positive?

You will find you have more energy and enthusiasm when you have a more positive attitude. People will want to be around you more, and will be more positive as well, leading to a cascade effect. Negativity tends to bring you down and steal away your energy. It can also cause health issues over time. Some ways you can develop a more positive attitude are:

Read Books about Positive Thinking

There are many books out there that can teach you about how to develop a positive mindset and eliminate the negativity in your life. Reading is not only a great way to learn, but it helps your brain build more connections which keep it healthy for a longer time. You can even find many very good books on this subject in your local library and read them for free.

Affirmations

Affirmations are a way of reprogramming the negative thoughts you tell yourself – and in many cases, you may not even be aware that you have them. By doing affirmations, you can change these negative thoughts into positive ones. You can start thinking better of yourself.

Meditation

Meditation is a great way to help eliminate negativity and turn it into positive thinking. It also reduces stress. Because you get past the conscious level, you can really help reprogram your mindset with meditation. If you combine this with the affirmations, you can increase the results.

Spend time with positive people

Try to eliminate or limit contact with people who tend to have a negative mindset. Sometimes you can’t completely break off contact with them, especially if they are family or people you work with, but as much as possible try to spend time with positive people. Not only will you find it easier to be positive around them, but you may learn new ways to help yourself be more positive.

Handling Failure and Rejection Effectively

There are times in all our lives when we might perceive ourselves to have failed at something or for example when we are jobhunting we might experience rejection. Failure or rejection can be challenging to deal with because it can dent our self-confidence and make us think less of ourselves.

Therefore it is clear that in order to become more resilient and better able to handle things we need to to build self-confidence and learn how to deal with failure. No one is successful 100 percent of the time. Everyone can’t always win. Once you get past your early school life we learn fast that awards aren’t for everyone, every time – at least outwardly.

Let’s look at some solid ways to deal with failure and handle rejection that can help to build your self-confidence.

It’s Usually Not Personal – It’s hard to realise, but most of the time when we fail or get rejected at something it’s not personal. Even if it’s the failure of a relationship, there are many factors that aren’t personal that come into play. Try to look at the situation from a distance to remove the personal factors from it.

Learn from the Situation – When you fail at something, allow yourself a little bit of time to go over the failure so that you can learn from it. Write down what you personally could do differently if the situation were to arise again. Be honest with yourself about this so that you can learn.

Don’t Obsess over Failure – While you do want to learn from the situation, you don’t want to take forever obsessing about it and going over it repeatedly. Instead, give yourself a time limit to think about it, get it down in writing, and move on from it.

You Don’t Need Others’ Approval to Be Successful – One reason that failure is often problematic to us as humans is that we don’t want to look bad in front of other people. But the truth is, no one must approve of you for you to be successful. Every single person fails, including even the most judgmental of people.

Change Your Perspective – Sometimes it can help to look at failure from someone else’s perspective. If it was a contest, think about the winner and how they feel. If you can focus on that positive aspect of your loss, it can be a lot more worth it.

The truth is, everyone is going to experience failure or rejection at times if they’re truly trying to succeed in life, whether it’s work or personal in nature. If you aren’t challenging yourself in any way, life will be kind of boring.

If you can view failure as an opportunity to learn and proof that you push yourself, you can turn failure into success because of what you learn from it. For this reason, paying attention to how you care for yourself is important too and I will look at self-care in another article.

Don’t Assume Anything!

As part of my job search for a new role as a Learning and Development Manager I am very focused on ensuring that I maintain my visibility online across various platforms.

I have also been working to ensure that my Online CVs are both right up-to-date and promoted. This last weekend I was talking to a friend who works in recruitment. They commented to me that it would be really good if, in addition to having domains that use my own name, I could have a domain that reflects the role that I do.

When we were discussing it we thought that it was highly unlikely that there would be a domain name available that exactly matched the type or role that I do.

Later in the weekend I was working on the computer and I suddenly thought to myself — why not check what domain names are available and who has the domain name that I would really like.

You can I am sure imagine my surprise when I checked on my preferred domain name provider and quickly discovered that www.learninganddevelopmentmanager.co.uk was available! I nearly fell off my chair! Within a few hours I had a new domain waiting to be populated with content.

In less than 24 hours and with some quick work and updating I had a keyword optimised CV online at Learning and Development Manager

The moral of the story — never assume anything until you have checked!

Don’t Keep Comparing Ourselves with Others

It’s all too easy to slip into the habit of comparing ourselves with others. When we are going for Job Interviews or just in life generally we have a tendency to do that don’t we?

If that is something that you find yourself routinely doing then perhaps it is time to stop! You are different from everyone else. Celebrate that. You offer a unique perspective and set of experiences in life. We should all be thanking you. If you are constantly comparing yourself, it means you aren’t happy with who you are. Why is that?

Comparing Ourselves with Others

Many people are brought up to conform to society we are almost taught that comparing ourselves to others is the right thing to do. They are told that if you don’t fit within society’s norms, you will be looked upon disapprovingly. However, most people aren’t “normal” in the truest sense of the word. All of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. It’s these differences that make us who we are and allow us to find solutions to problems. It also keeps us from getting bored. Imagine if everyone were truly the same. There would be nothing new to discover about one another.

There are some reasons to conform. For instance, you need to follow the rules and laws of your country and community. Otherwise, you will suffer consequences for not doing so. Also, you want to treat others with respect so that they will hopefully return that respect. However, if you try to act in ways in which others believe you should, you aren’t going to live your life to the fullest.

That’s why we should get out of the habit of comparing ourselves with others. When you do this, you are likely setting unrealistic expectations and these will lead you to be disappointed. Comparing yourself to others will result in you resenting those people. They have their reasons for being the way they are, and it has nothing to do with you.

There are qualities you admire in others. There is nothing wrong with trying to adopt some of those admirable qualities for yourself. However, it shouldn’t get to the point where we are constantly comparing ourselves with others and find we are trying to redefine who you are to be like those people you admire. You aren’t them, and you never will be.

Why We Should Stop Comparing Ourselves with Others

If you spend most of your time trying to be like someone else, you are in for a rough ride. If you stick to who you are and find others willing to accept you for that, you are going to be more satisfied for most of that time you live. Others will be happier with the real you as well. You won’t be a pretender. People see right through that kind of behaviour. Just think about others who are not true to themselves. How long does it take you to see through that disguise?

Celebrate Your Achievements

Do you take time to celebrate your achievements? I know that I tend to be quite a reflective person and like many others I tend to incline towards reflecting on what could have gone differently or better. It’s all too easy for us to default to reflect on those things we can learn most from and that tends to be the things which could have gone better. However, we need to make time to also reflect and celebrate our achievements.

This can be especially helpful at a time when you are looking to secure a new job because it brings to front of mind those things you have done which have made a difference. You can then ensure that you weave these into your answers at interview as examples of what you have achieved.

When we sit back and look at things, as I encouraged you to do with the post around Personal Skills Mindmapping, we soon realise that we have achieved things in our life and work.

Do You Celebrate Your Achievements?

You should celebrate your achievements. Many people don’t. They marginalise their achievements. If you do this, you need to stop. It can set up barriers to achieving more. Learn how to break those barriers by recognizing and appreciating your own achievements.

Why shouldn’t you celebrate your own lifetime achievement?
It’s a big deal for anyone in Hollywood to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award. They celebrate it as an event, publicize it, and film it for all to see. Just because you aren’t famous, doesn’t mean you haven’t accomplished anything. Be proud of what you have accomplished.
The next time someone recognizes an achievement of yours, don’t pass it off as no big deal.
Thank them, and consider yourself lucky that someone noticed. Also, write down the event any time it happens. This will show you that your achievements are worth it.
Appreciate the achievements of others.
One way to get people to recognize your achievements is to congratulate them on theirs. Be genuine in your praise. If you are just doing it to try and win points, this will be seen as shallow, and people will know you are not
If you are feeling a bit light on the achievement scale, try to figure out why that is.
It could be that you need to define your goals more concretely. Start with high-level goals and break them down into tasks and sub-goals.
One achievement that people overlook is helping others.
This doesn’t have to be through volunteering. It can be helping a neighbor or somebody at work. You can choose to volunteer as well. When you help others achieve something, that is an achievement as well. It feels great knowing that you made a difference in someone else’s life.
Read about the achievements of others.
The reason why biographies of successful people continue to be published is that they help people learn the circumstances of these successful people. You can see that they were just like everyone else. It’s the classic, if they can do it so can you. Try to read several books per month, consistently. Also, read people who you admire as well as people who you find controversial. It’s good to get perspectives on different people to help you keep an open mind.
You want to appreciate your achievements. But, at the same time, you don’t want to rest on your laurels.
You always have more to achieve, so make sure that you appreciate what you have done, but understand there is more.

3 Actionable Next Steps To Celebrate Your Achievements

Write down all your achievements that you can remember. Try to think back as far as you can. Don’t limit yourself. If you had achievements in school or college, put those down as well.

This action will help show you everything you have achieved. It will give you confidence in your ability to accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Create a blog about your achievements. First, it will get you to write about them and how you got to where you are. Second, you never know who you may inspire by describing your experiences.

When your blog becomes popular, it will motivate you to achieve more because you want to keep your editorial calendar as full as possible.

Align your daily to-do lists with your overall goals.

If you don’t have higher-level goals defined, start with these. To-do lists are good tools unless you are not performing the right tasks.

High-level goals will help you determine what you need to be doing on your to-do lists.