Job Search Advice Archives - Page 6 of 14

Changing Careers – They Have Done It!

Changing careers is something that people think about but it can be quite a scary concept! I have been talking to a number of people over the last few weeks who have been considering whether they should change the focus of their careers. Seeking a new role or changing career is one of those things that people do tend to consider at this time of year.

I am sure you will have come across people who have “fallen into” their current career and have stuck with it because of the security the regular income brings. They often find themselves frustrated as time goes on that they are not following a career that would really fulfill them and allow to work in an area that they would enjoy and feel they were adding value to the world around them. You may be one of those people?

Pondering on this set me thinking about some of the people from history or that we know today who have changed their careers.

There are many examples of people who have have taken the plunge and moved from thinking about changing careers to changing their lives and careers completely through knowing themselves and what they were capable of. They also had the courage to change direction and make the most of the opportunities presented to them.

Changing Careers – These People Did It!

Julius Caesar

In 49BC, Caesar, though a great commander, was told to disband his legion and return to Rome – most likely to retirement or even death. He disobeyed orders and instead crossed the Rubicon River into Italy. His power grew through his great talents and love of the people, and that one act led to him becoming the Emperor of Rome and first in a long line of Caesars.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon was not even French, but become Emperor of the French within a decade after seizing upon the opportunities for power that had resulted through the French Revolution. He transformed himself from a corporal of artillery to the greatest general the modern world had ever seen, and he made every member of his family a king or ruler in Europe.

Arthur Wellesley

Arthur Wellesley was born in Ireland, a second son who would not inherit his father’s estate, and so would have to make his own way in the world. He was a talented violinist, but when the family of the girl he wished to marry turned him down because he had “no prospects,” he burned all his violins and threw himself into a career in the army. Around 20 years later, he defeated Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo and became the Duke of Wellington. He also became the prime minister of Great Britain.

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill was a retired politician writing books and painting watercolors in the 1930s, but the rise of Hitler in Germany so alarmed him that he became a tireless opponent of the Fuhrer even though he was nearly 60 years old. He became Prime Minister in 1940 and led England through the horrific war and on to victory in 1945, when he was 71.

We have many modern examples of people who thought about changing careers and went on to be wildly successful:

Walt Disney was a newspaper editor
Ellen DeGeneres was an oyster shucker
Harrison Ford was a carpenter
Andrea Bocelli was a lawyer
Chef Julia Child was a spy in World War II

Sylvester Stallone was a deli-counter assistant and lion cage cleaner at the Central Park Zoo. Desperate to give his family a better life, he penned the screenplay to Rocky. Hollywood loved it, but he insisted he would only sell it if he got to play the lead. And the rest, as they say, is history.

What drives people like this to success? It’s often a sense of purpose or destiny. It’s knowing what they want and finding ways to get there. Let’s look at one way of accomplishing this in the next post! In the meantime are you thinking of changing careers? What are you going to do about it?

Endings, Transitions and New Beginnings

There have to be endings for there to be new beginnings. As an old year ends so obviously a New Year begins which we have a tendency to think of as full of promise of changes and new experiences. As Mitch Albom, wrote in The Five People You Meet in Heaven, “All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.”

It’s a great way to look at endings in our lives. If you are familiar with the work of William Bridges around Transitions (read more at Transitions) then this will be something that you will recognise. There are some endings, such as the death of a loved one, which leave us deeply saddened, however if we can accept the loss then we will in time start to dwell more on the good memories than the loss. Eventually, we will start to focus on what the new beginnings which the loss has created will have in store for us.

Each step in our life is necessary for us to continue growing. For example for many of us the end of school or college signifies the beginning of an adult lifestyle and possibly a career that you’ve studied for.

Every New Year is an opportunity for you to sit down and figure out what you want to do differently this year. Do you want to lose weight, quit smoking, move on to another job? As I wrote on LinkedIn the other day now is the time to rethink and reset your goals and make the necessary changes in your life – perhaps one at a time rather than in one almighty go.

An ending can only come when you let go of thinking about them. When negative things get to be beyond your control, you’ve got to distance yourself and begin to make a space for the positive. Otherwise, it will interfere with the future you want to have and keep you from making the changes you need to make.

We each need to recognise the reality of endings. We don’t have to like all of them, but we do need to accept the reality of what they are. If you don’t learn to accept endings you close your mind to allowing the new beginnings.

Think about things in a new way. You may think of yourself as “set in your ways,” about certain things, but you have the right to change your mind if something occurs (such as more knowledge) to tilt your thinking another way. Sometimes it helps to gain a fresh perspective on life and let go of old beliefs.

Remember, if you don’t take chances, then change isn’t possible. You can hold on to the good things in your life, but if a new idea triggers excitement and fulfillment in your life, try it. If you don’t, you may regret it.

50 Is The New 30 – Confidence As We Mature

In a meeting the other day the comment was made that “50 is the new 30!” which was a reflection perhaps of how in the space of no more than a couple of generations what we expect of ourselves has definitely changed. If I think back to my own parents at my age then they certainly approached life in a very different way to how we find ourselves behaving, dressing and indeed working today.

That set me reflecting on some of the discussions with “mature” people I have had recently. Some of them also talked about how in the face of the seemingly relentless change they have felt a loss of confidence at times leading some to feel like an “imposter.” I have written about the imposter syndrome before (see here) but in this post I want to look at how, as we contend with the world which expects more of us, we can retain or re-discover our confidence.

In the glossy magazines and on websites we are told that we can do it all and have it all. That can seem quite daunting if you are at a stage in your life where you are struggling with being confident. The reality is that everything is a balancing act, and the best way to stay happy and confident is to make a list of priorities and stick to it.

Who Are You?

When it comes to prioritising, you need to know who you are and what you want in life. With a purpose-driven life, you are in control, setting your goals and taking action to achievement.

There are only so many hours in the day, with one-third supposed to be reserved for sleep, and one-third of your weekdays (usually) reserved for work. However, as a partner, community activist or caregiver to elderly parents or relatives, the work day increases and the sleep often decreases. It can seem almost impossible to find “me time” in which you can relax, de-stress, and work on self-improvement.

Good Self-Care

The truth is that the happier you try to make others, the unhappier you will usually be yourself. You will never be able to take care of others well unless you first take care of yourself and ensure as many of your real needs as possible are met. These include food, rest, money to pay the bills, supportive relationships and so on.

Good self-care is empowering and will boost confidence. You won’t feel as if you are running on an empty fuel tank all the time. Instead, you can give all your important tasks your best effort. You might even have time to take classes online, learn new skills, and more.

Lifelong Learning

You are never too old to learn. Gaining new skills can increase your self-esteem. They might even help you get that promotion or raise you’ve been longing for.

Surrounding Yourself with Positive People

Positive people exude positive energy. You can tell who they are because you feel good whenever they walk into the room. Spend more time with them, and try to become more positive yourself, so you can network with like-minded people.

Do Self-Confidence Exercises throughout the Day

Start in the morning by telling yourself you are going to have a great day. Try a “power pose” in front of the mirror, stretching your arms and leg out as widely as possible until you feel like you are filling the room. Don’t be “small” or think small.

Work physical activity into your day for at least a few minutes at a time. A 10-minute workout session four times per day is just as effective as one 40-minute session, and exercise boosts your energy as well.

Come up with affirmations, positive statements that fill you with energy, such as “feel your power,” “You can do it,” and so on.

At the end of the day, journal about your successes, and what you can do even better tomorrow. Again I have written about the benefits of reflective journals elsewhere (see here.)

Cross Items Off Your Bucket List

Regularly do things you’ve always wanted to do. They will get you out of your comfort zone and increase your self-esteem.

Follow these tips to increase both your confidence and self-belief.

Developing Your Listening Skills

In the previous post I looked at what it means to be a good listener. In this post I want to look at how you can develop the skills involved in listening and how you can give people the impression you are genuinely listening to them.

The entire point of listening is to gather information from the person speaking. To get the information the messenger wants you to receive, you may have to practice some techniques that help you truly listen to the speaker.

Focus on the Speaker – When you place your focus on the person speaking, you’re going to be more likely to understand what they’re trying to communicate. A good technique for focusing is to turn off any extraneous electronics or put them on mute. Focus your eyes on the speaker and not on what is behind them.

Establish Rapport – When you can relate to others, you’ll be able to build trust faster. For example, a way to establish rapport is to find common ground with the person speaking. Let them know that you’ve been there, or if you haven’t, let them know that too and ask them to explain more. Show that you’re empathetic, and learn how to mirror the speaker’s mannerisms and speech in an appropriate way.

Show Concern – There are numerous ways to show your concern without interjecting your opinion or interrupting the speaker. You can show concern with your eyes, by gently touching their hand or shoulder, and by showing the feeling in your eyes when you look at the speaker. Don’t detract from the speaker with an over-display of emotion, but let them know subtly that you are concerned about what they are saying.

Paraphrase – When appropriate, it’s a good idea to paraphrase what the speaker is saying. “I hear you saying that you’re overworked, tired, and stressed, is that right?” Then let the speaker answer whether that is correct before offering any type of solution.

Use Non-Verbal Cues – Not only should you pay attention to the body language of the speaker, but you should also provide non-verbal cues to the speaker that you’re supporting them and listening to them. You can do that by using reflection or mirroring. Pay attention to your face, make eye contact appropriately, and lean forward so that they see that you’re listening. Nod your head, smile, or frown, at the appropriate times.

Affirm Verbally – It’s also okay to say things like, “Continue”, “That’s terrible”, “I understand”, or, “This is exciting”. Use whatever is appropriate to show that you’re listening to them in a verbally affirming way.

Ask Open-Ended Questions – When you want to hear more of what someone is saying, you can ask open-ended questions. An open-ended question goes deeper than a yes or no question and requires a deeper answer. When you do this, avoid asking leading questions which suggests answers to them. An example of an open-ended job interview question goes like this: “Please describe what benefits hiring you will provide our company.”

Ask Specific Questions – If you need clarity, it’s okay to ask closed questions. “Are you saying that John is almost always late with his work?” This requires a yes or no, and can help you understand what the speaker is saying so that they can move forward with what they’re trying to communicate with you. When you do this, gesture for them to continue so it doesn’t stop the discussion.

Show Understanding – When it’s the right time, you can also disclose your own similar experiences to help the speaker relate to you better. You want to avoid making it all about you, though, so it depends on the situation. But a short sentence such as, “I’ve also received hate mail due to my social media activity, what did you do next?”

Avoid Responding until the Speaker Is Finished – It’s important to wait for the speaker to be finished before you start offering your opinion. Allow the person speaking to finish and pause for two or three seconds before you start talking about your opinion to ensure they’re done. The biggest thing to realize is that silence is not a bad thing when you’re trying to actively listen to someone.

When you’re actively listening, do not fidget, eye gaze, overreact, or interrupt. Listen for understanding, and show that you understand non-verbally and verbally. Show that you’re listening by leaning forward and using the right amount of eye contact and the right cues.

21 Body Language Habits to Avoid

There are a number of body language habits that are generally considered to send a negative message and it is therefore suggested are best avoided. I am sure that individuals will have very differing views on these but it’s always worth considering whether any of the following are stopping you from keeping communication flowing smoothly.

1. Frowning – This is very unwelcoming.

2. Making a face or scowling – This can be an unconscious expression of disapproval or dislike. Try to maintain a neutral expression even if you don’t like what you hear.

3. A fake smile – This makes you seem unwelcoming and dishonest.

4. Avoiding eye contact – Eye contact shows you are paying attention. Avoiding eye contact could mean you don’t care about what is being said. It might also be a sign you are being dishonest, as in the phrase “he couldn’t look me in the eye”.

5. Staring too long – Excessive eye contact might make you seem aggressive or even rude. In Asian countries, it is considered disrespectful to look directly into the eyes of someone of high status.

6. Squinting – This is similar to frowning. It also indicates dislike.

7. Looking down/stooping – This can suggest disinterest, or arrogance. Staring at your feet and shuffling them can also suggest nervousness and the desire to get away.

8. Crossing your arms in front of your chest – This is very unwelcoming and can also be a sign of a lack of interest or a refusal to communicate.

9. Holding things in front of you – Holding your purse, a folder or coffee cup in front of you or close to your chest is like a barrier, making you seem aloof. If you can’t put them down, hold them to your side if you can.

10. Standing with your hands on your hips – This stance is one of aggression and bossiness, so it can close down communication before it ever really starts.

11. Fidgeting with a pen or your phone – These actions suggest you are really not paying attention to what is being said. It can also indicate impatience for the meeting to be at an end.

12. Checking your watch – This shows you are bored or under pressure and therefore not paying attention fully to what is being said. It also suggests impatience.

13. Leaning away – Leaning away suggests “standoffishness.”

14. Leaning too close – This can invade others’ personal space and make them feel uncomfortable.

15. Casual touches – This can suggest too much familiarity if you don’t know the other person well.

16. Shaking hands – This is accepted in the West but still avoided in Asian countries. A bow, or a prayer sign (wai) with hands pressed together at the level of the chest is more common there.

17. Using your left hand – This can be a problem in the Middle East, where this hand is seen as dirty and only used for lavatory purposes.

18. Leaning against something – This can make you look too relaxed.

19. Sitting with your legs crossed – This can also make you look too relaxed. It is frowned on in Asian countries.

20. Touching your face – Touching the face, especially the nose, is seen as a sign of lying.

21. Touching your hair – Fiddling with your hair seems to indicate boredom or nervousness.

If you have not assessed your own body language recently, it might be time to practice in a mirror, such as when you are speaking on the phone. Or, video yourself and assess your body language. You may have more bad habits than you think. If this is the case, consciously work towards eliminating them and see what a difference it can make to your level of success.