Paul Duxbury

In Search Of Optimism

It’s been a beautiful afternoon here in Cheshire which gave me the chance to sit outside reading and writing. I don’t know about you but I always find that the sun and a little warmth makes me feel more positive/optimistic. That set me thinking about other ways to make ourselves feel more optimistic and there’s some thoughts from my pondering sat outside!

Ask Yourself Three Key Questions

A big difference between pessimists and optimists is that optimists tend to think that:

Problems are temporary and can be resolved
Problems are particular to a certain event/person/experience and are not related to everything
Problems are external and not a reflection of who you are

On the other hand, pessimists often think that problems are permanent, related to everything, and internal (caused by their own qualities).

To help stop yourself from negative, pessimistic thinking, ask these three questions:

Is this problem really permanent, or is it just temporary?
Is this thing really a universal truth, or is it a problem particular to one moment/event?
Am I blaming myself for everything, or is there more than one facet to the situation?

Practice Gratitude

Studies show that actively practising gratitude can boost optimism and happiness. Resolve to spend two minutes a day jotting down one or two things that you are grateful for.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Emotions are contagious. Surround yourself with negative people, and it’s easy to sink into a bad mood. Surround yourself with optimistic people, and you just might see yourself looking on the sunny side of the street.

Search for the Positive

When adversity strikes, try to see a positive side of the event. The idea is not to deny the reality of bad situations, but to help you cope with them more productively. For instance, if you get laid off, you could be angry at yourself and the bad job you did, or you could focus on practical steps to land a new, better job.

Practice Mindfulness

A 2014 study showed that people who practiced mindfulness had fewer negative thoughts than before they started practicing, but the same number of positive thoughts. Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as sitting quietly for two minutes a day and paying attention to your breath.

Be Kind To Yourself

Over the past few weeks I have been sharing some ideas on Twitter around how to Be Kind to Yourself. One of the things that has led me to reflect on is how sometimes we need to change our routines to help us be kind to ourselves. It’s a really good idea to establish routines. However, sometimes a routine can become a rut. If you are feeling unfulfilled, tired, and maybe even a little bit overwhelmed, you probably need to find a way to break your everyday routine.

Here are nine ways to get out of a rut. If you already do one of them, try to figure out a way that you can make it different in some way.

Take a New Path to Work

This might seem silly, especially if you were driving or walking the same way to work every single day. However, something as simple as making a new path to work can totally change your life. Look back on your life and think about the random things that you have done that you put you in just the right place at the right time. What if you happen to meet someone new just because you took a different path than normal?

Try Cooking a Totally New Meal

Even something as simple as your everyday meals can become routine. Most people tend to eat the same things day after day, month after month, switching between eight to ten basic meals. If you look at how you eat, you’ll probably discover the same thing. This is a good way to explore different cultures and learn new things. You might even want to take a cooking class – more on that below.

Sign Up for a Class

To really break up your normal schedule, sign up for a class in something that you think you’re interested in. For example, if you love reading about medieval times, perhaps you should study medieval times in school. Thankfully, today you don’t have to sign up for every single class to go back to school. Instead, you can find a class online that will work just as well.

Walk Instead of Ride

If you normally ride to work but it’s within walking distance, you might want to try walking. When you walk places, you’re more likely to meet other people who are walking places. Plus, you get a lot of exercise, sun and time to think.

Take the Stairs

if you work in an office building or go places and you normally take the elevator, try taking the stairs. See how different that makes you feel. It may seem strange, but the smallest change in your day can make the biggest difference. Maybe by taking the stairs, you’ll lose five pounds this year; who knows?

Introduce Yourself

Often, it’s easy to get tied up in our own lives. We get so busy with our family and the friends that we already know that we forget that there’s a lot of people out there that might be the best friend we ever had in our lives and we just haven’t met them yet. Start introducing yourself to at least one new person every day. It doesn’t matter if they’re a stranger on the street in a store or at work; put out your hand and introduce yourself.

Try a New Colour

Another way that you can change up your day and break your everyday routine is to try new fashions or new decorations. It’s surprising what a new coat of paint on your office wall or your living room wall can do for your mood and your outlook.

Find Top 10 Things to Do in Your Area

A fun way to get out of your normal routine is to do something new right in the area that you live. Many of us live in places that other people pay good money to visit on vacation. Find out the different things that vacationers do in your town and follow what they do.

Listen to Books

The truth is, the more you read, the smarter you’re going to become. But it can be difficult to find time to read. Thankfully you can listen to digital books too. You can get a subscription to Audible and listen to as many books as you want. The more you listen to books, the smarter you’re going to become and the more likely you will be to discover your passion.

Discovering your passion requires that you are willing to break out of your comfort zone and change your routine from what it is now. You might want to start with a few of the small tasks mentioned in this article. You will surprise yourself at where you’re going to end up when you start changing your everyday routine.

Changing The Way We Look At Things

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This quote is from the famous motivational speaker and self-help author Dr. Wayne Dyer. Think about what he said for a moment.

It is along the same line as the half-empty/half-full concept. In both theories, it points out the power of having a positive mindset. There are positives in everything; sometimes you just must look harder to find them over the more apparent negatives.

We all make choices in life; some of us choose to be negative about everything, while other people experiencing the same situation see nothing but the positives. How can that be? Two people experiencing the same thing but emotionally feeling what they experience at opposite ends of the spectrum. It is almost as if each is wearing a set of glasses that filter the experience differently. Remember Dr. Dyer’s quote: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Why change the way you look at things?

Before we get into the “how” of changing your mindset, let’s first look at why it is beneficial to see the positives in everything. The mind is a powerful thing in that it controls all parts of your body. Researchers have found in multiple studies that having a positive outlook produces some very beneficial health benefits. For one, they found it increases the immune system. It is a proven fact that positive people are generally healthier both mentally and physically.

And positive people have a lower stress level because they are able to effectively deal with stress better. As a result, they have less cortisol caressing through their body, a known hormone responsible for weight gain, so they are able to control their weight better.

Beside having an improved immune system and better weight control, having a positive mindset also:

lowers the risk of a cardiovascular event
lower rates of depression
and surprisingly live a longer life

How to change your mindset to one more positive

While there are several things one can do to improve their mindset, here are some that provide the most benefits:

Start your day with a positive affirmation – how you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Many people like to write down their affirmation in a notebook or journal. Writing it down has more effect than just verbalizing it to yourself.
Look for the good in things – We all face situations during our day that can be viewed as either good or bad. For example, if stuck in traffic, view it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite podcast or to your favorite music instead of a waste of time going nowhere.
Change negative self-talk into positive – Instead of saying “I’m so bad at doing this” say “I’ll get better at doing this after I get more practice.”
Focus on the present – The past is yesterday, there is nothing we can do about it; the future is tomorrow and not here yet, so there is little we can do about it; but today is now and we can either choose to experience it either positively or negatively; the choice is yours!
Surround yourself with positive people. Positive people have positive outlook on life, quote positive affirmations and generally say positive things. Over time, these positives rub off on you, sink into your brain and you become a more positive person because of them. However, the opposite is true if you surround yourself with negative people. Again, it is your choice; choose wisely!

The way you view things, could help you see them in a positive way instead of negative. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Now go be positive!