self-confidence Archives

Quick Self-Confidence Boosters That Work

If you really need to boost your self-confidence fast, these self-confidence boosters might just work for you! Just pick one and do it whenever you need it, and keep them all in your arsenal for any time.

Visualize Success — When you visualize the thing you want to do ending successfully, including how it will work out, this is a great way to ensure success. For example, if you think of all the roadblocks that might get in your way and how you’ll overcome them, that will help you during the actual event.

Think about Past Successes — One way a person develops self-confidence is by knowing what success feels like. If you’ve had even small successes doing anything, think about those things. Find an image of something that most closely relates what you’re getting ready to do so that you can go through it in your mind and experience the feelings of success.

Remember Something Good — One way to give yourself self-confidence is to just think of a happy time from the past. Think of the time that you felt happiest, most self-confident, and ready to take on the world. You can find that person inside your mind and feel that way moving forward.

Listen to Uplifting Music — Before you embark on anything that needs self-confidence, turn up the music and get positive. Listening to your “fight” music beforehand is a great way to tune into yourself and feel good about what you’re doing.

Handling Failure and Rejection Effectively

There are times in all our lives when we might perceive ourselves to have failed at something or for example when we are jobhunting we might experience rejection. Failure or rejection can be challenging to deal with because it can dent our self-confidence and make us think less of ourselves.

Therefore it is clear that in order to become more resilient and better able to handle things we need to to build self-confidence and learn how to deal with failure. No one is successful 100 percent of the time. Everyone can’t always win. Once you get past your early school life we learn fast that awards aren’t for everyone, every time – at least outwardly.

Let’s look at some solid ways to deal with failure and handle rejection that can help to build your self-confidence.

It’s Usually Not Personal – It’s hard to realise, but most of the time when we fail or get rejected at something it’s not personal. Even if it’s the failure of a relationship, there are many factors that aren’t personal that come into play. Try to look at the situation from a distance to remove the personal factors from it.

Learn from the Situation – When you fail at something, allow yourself a little bit of time to go over the failure so that you can learn from it. Write down what you personally could do differently if the situation were to arise again. Be honest with yourself about this so that you can learn.

Don’t Obsess over Failure – While you do want to learn from the situation, you don’t want to take forever obsessing about it and going over it repeatedly. Instead, give yourself a time limit to think about it, get it down in writing, and move on from it.

You Don’t Need Others’ Approval to Be Successful – One reason that failure is often problematic to us as humans is that we don’t want to look bad in front of other people. But the truth is, no one must approve of you for you to be successful. Every single person fails, including even the most judgmental of people.

Change Your Perspective – Sometimes it can help to look at failure from someone else’s perspective. If it was a contest, think about the winner and how they feel. If you can focus on that positive aspect of your loss, it can be a lot more worth it.

The truth is, everyone is going to experience failure or rejection at times if they’re truly trying to succeed in life, whether it’s work or personal in nature. If you aren’t challenging yourself in any way, life will be kind of boring.

If you can view failure as an opportunity to learn and proof that you push yourself, you can turn failure into success because of what you learn from it. For this reason, paying attention to how you care for yourself is important too and I will look at self-care in another article.

Don’t Keep Comparing Ourselves with Others

It’s all too easy to slip into the habit of comparing ourselves with others. When we are going for Job Interviews or just in life generally we have a tendency to do that don’t we?

If that is something that you find yourself routinely doing then perhaps it is time to stop! You are different from everyone else. Celebrate that. You offer a unique perspective and set of experiences in life. We should all be thanking you. If you are constantly comparing yourself, it means you aren’t happy with who you are. Why is that?

Comparing Ourselves with Others

Many people are brought up to conform to society we are almost taught that comparing ourselves to others is the right thing to do. They are told that if you don’t fit within society’s norms, you will be looked upon disapprovingly. However, most people aren’t “normal” in the truest sense of the word. All of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. It’s these differences that make us who we are and allow us to find solutions to problems. It also keeps us from getting bored. Imagine if everyone were truly the same. There would be nothing new to discover about one another.

There are some reasons to conform. For instance, you need to follow the rules and laws of your country and community. Otherwise, you will suffer consequences for not doing so. Also, you want to treat others with respect so that they will hopefully return that respect. However, if you try to act in ways in which others believe you should, you aren’t going to live your life to the fullest.

That’s why we should get out of the habit of comparing ourselves with others. When you do this, you are likely setting unrealistic expectations and these will lead you to be disappointed. Comparing yourself to others will result in you resenting those people. They have their reasons for being the way they are, and it has nothing to do with you.

There are qualities you admire in others. There is nothing wrong with trying to adopt some of those admirable qualities for yourself. However, it shouldn’t get to the point where we are constantly comparing ourselves with others and find we are trying to redefine who you are to be like those people you admire. You aren’t them, and you never will be.

Why We Should Stop Comparing Ourselves with Others

If you spend most of your time trying to be like someone else, you are in for a rough ride. If you stick to who you are and find others willing to accept you for that, you are going to be more satisfied for most of that time you live. Others will be happier with the real you as well. You won’t be a pretender. People see right through that kind of behaviour. Just think about others who are not true to themselves. How long does it take you to see through that disguise?

50 Is The New 30 – Confidence As We Mature

In a meeting the other day the comment was made that “50 is the new 30!” which was a reflection perhaps of how in the space of no more than a couple of generations what we expect of ourselves has definitely changed. If I think back to my own parents at my age then they certainly approached life in a very different way to how we find ourselves behaving, dressing and indeed working today.

That set me reflecting on some of the discussions with “mature” people I have had recently. Some of them also talked about how in the face of the seemingly relentless change they have felt a loss of confidence at times leading some to feel like an “imposter.” I have written about the imposter syndrome before (see here) but in this post I want to look at how, as we contend with the world which expects more of us, we can retain or re-discover our confidence.

In the glossy magazines and on websites we are told that we can do it all and have it all. That can seem quite daunting if you are at a stage in your life where you are struggling with being confident. The reality is that everything is a balancing act, and the best way to stay happy and confident is to make a list of priorities and stick to it.

Who Are You?

When it comes to prioritising, you need to know who you are and what you want in life. With a purpose-driven life, you are in control, setting your goals and taking action to achievement.

There are only so many hours in the day, with one-third supposed to be reserved for sleep, and one-third of your weekdays (usually) reserved for work. However, as a partner, community activist or caregiver to elderly parents or relatives, the work day increases and the sleep often decreases. It can seem almost impossible to find “me time” in which you can relax, de-stress, and work on self-improvement.

Good Self-Care

The truth is that the happier you try to make others, the unhappier you will usually be yourself. You will never be able to take care of others well unless you first take care of yourself and ensure as many of your real needs as possible are met. These include food, rest, money to pay the bills, supportive relationships and so on.

Good self-care is empowering and will boost confidence. You won’t feel as if you are running on an empty fuel tank all the time. Instead, you can give all your important tasks your best effort. You might even have time to take classes online, learn new skills, and more.

Lifelong Learning

You are never too old to learn. Gaining new skills can increase your self-esteem. They might even help you get that promotion or raise you’ve been longing for.

Surrounding Yourself with Positive People

Positive people exude positive energy. You can tell who they are because you feel good whenever they walk into the room. Spend more time with them, and try to become more positive yourself, so you can network with like-minded people.

Do Self-Confidence Exercises throughout the Day

Start in the morning by telling yourself you are going to have a great day. Try a “power pose” in front of the mirror, stretching your arms and leg out as widely as possible until you feel like you are filling the room. Don’t be “small” or think small.

Work physical activity into your day for at least a few minutes at a time. A 10-minute workout session four times per day is just as effective as one 40-minute session, and exercise boosts your energy as well.

Come up with affirmations, positive statements that fill you with energy, such as “feel your power,” “You can do it,” and so on.

At the end of the day, journal about your successes, and what you can do even better tomorrow. Again I have written about the benefits of reflective journals elsewhere (see here.)

Cross Items Off Your Bucket List

Regularly do things you’ve always wanted to do. They will get you out of your comfort zone and increase your self-esteem.

Follow these tips to increase both your confidence and self-belief.

Why It’s Good to Stand Up For Yourself

How often do you feel like your needs are met? People who are unable to stand up for themselves often find that they feel unfulfilled, frustrated, and even victimized. When you develop a pattern of letting other people take advantage of you, it can impact your mental and physical health.

Conversely, those that are always insisting that their demands be met and bully others until they are, are also just as unhappy. They alienate those around them. They’re too aggressive. Somewhere between aggressive and passive is a happy medium that most people refer to as assertive. To assert yourself is to stand up for your own wants and needs. However, you do so with the consideration of others.

Standing Up For Yourself Is Good for You

Being assertive and standing up for yourself helps you feel more empowered and less stressed out. Instead of constantly tending to other people’s needs, you’re taking care of your own. Then, and only then, are you in a position to help others. Standing up for yourself improves you and your life in many different ways.

1. You Become a Better Communicator

When you stand up for yourself it’s not a, “Hey, give me that.” It’s more like, “Hey, I see you have that and I would like some too. Do you mind sharing?” See the difference? You ask for what you want in a pleasant and collaborative way. And when someone asks you to do something for them (something that you don’t really want to do), instead of saying “sure” and not really meaning it, you can simply say, “I don’t have time.” Communication becomes much easier when you are assertive.

2. People Respect You

How much do you respect someone who is constantly agreeing to do things that they don’t want to do or someone who lets others take credit for work that they did? Or someone who says, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” all the time. It happens. Passive people live in this world. It’s difficult to respect them. If you are passive then you may feel like others in your life don’t have respect for you. Start being more assertive and standing up for yourself and watch that change.

3. Stay True to Yourself

You have opinions, thoughts, goals and needs. When you don’t stand up for yourself, those get pushed aside and other people become the priority at your expense. Standing up for yourself means that you make yourself a priority and that you acknowledge that your wants and needs are important. Your opinion is valid and you deserve to follow your own path.

Standing up for yourself isn’t always easy. Start small and gradually increase your confidence. Learn to say no to things you don’t want to do and yes to yourself.