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Should I Tweet or Should I……?

With job applications to complete which can take several hours, interviews to prepare for, telephone calls to recruiters to make and so much more when it comes to job hunting the temptation to a little procrastination can be as real as it is in the workplace. So how do we ensure that we avoid procrastination whether we are in a job or looking for a new role?

Let’s start by recognising that we are not alone! Procrastination is one of the most common ways people sabotage themselves and don’t get all all they want from life. By putting things off, they are not as efficient and productive, and can cause damage to their professional and personal lives.

Fortunately, there are several quick and easy ways to stop procrastinating and start moving forward with all your important goals.

Make a list of what needs to be done – Then you can start tackling these tasks.
Rank that list in order of priority – Put those with the closest deadline at the top of the list.
Break large projects into little steps – In this way, we won’t feel overwhelmed and can create a pattern of slow but steady progress.
Organise your workspace – A cluttered work area will be harder to be productive in. Organize your space with a place for everything, and everything in its place. In this way, you won’t waste valuable time hunting for things you need.
De-clutter your computer – Your computer should also be well organized, like a filing cabinet, with folders and files all named something meaningful that will help you find them again. Don’t just dump everything into Documents or litter your desktop screen with everything that “you might just need.”
Rearrange your room – If your desk is facing a window or something else that might be distracting, such as a TV, it might be time to move around the furniture so your room says “Work!” instead of “daydream” or “waste time”. If it is a multipurpose room, such as your office and also a guest room, group the furniture together by function. And don’t hang out on the bed with your laptop all the time, or you will be in danger of falling asleep.
Keep a paper calendar – Carry a small calendar with you. It’s useful for writing down important dates and checking availability.
Use time management techniques – Time management is the art and skill of making the most of the time you have by organizing it and using it efficiently. Start by seeing where your time is going each day. Track yourself on a spreadsheet in 15-minute increments. Write down what you do: Get up, go to sleep, break for lunch, have a meeting and so on. Do this for a week. Chances are you will find things that are eating up your time but have no real value.
Avoid eating up time with email, Facebook and so on – Email, Facebook and other social sites can be handy for communicating and marketing, but they can also eat up a lot of time. Try to look at them no more than three times a day: morning, noon and night. You will be amazed at how productive this can make you.

If you struggle with procrastination, try some or all of these tips and see what a difference they can make to your life.

Dealing With Negative People

In today’s world it seems inevitable that no matter how positive we try to be, sooner or later we are going to encounter negative people. In fact, you might even be surrounded by them already, and feel held back by them to the point where they sap your energy. As we all become more connected online and encounter more and more views of the world it can become quite overwhelming can’t it?

We don’t want to live in a bubble where we only engage with people that share our views and opinions because that leads to a limited perspective on life. We can encounter people who have different views than ours and express them in a respectful manner and that can be a hugely positive experience. It might even be that we learn something new and change our opinions. However, those negative people who always take a contrary view, who always dwell on the negative or who are deliberately argumentative can be incredibly draining.

So how do we deal with those negative people, their opinions and views? Here’s a few thoughts for you to consider?

Stay Positive

If a person is constantly whining and complaining, you can draw on your own reserves on energy and try to stay positive. You can note all the lessons that can be learned from what the person is upset about. You can be sad for them and wish them well. You don’t have to be dragged down by them.

Reframe

You can reframe negative thoughts and situations in a more positive light. If a friend has a car crash, for example, point out that yes it was bad (after listening and expressing sympathy), but at least no one was seriously injured and the insurance will cover it sooner or later.

Point Out Their Pattern

If a person is constantly negative, they might not even realise it. Or, they might think they are “being realistic” so no one will “be disappointed” if things don’t work out. Point out their pattern of always looking on the gloomy side and see if you can give examples that will help reframe their thoughts.

Don’t Dwell on the Past

If someone is stuck in the past in relation to an event from when they were younger – accident, divorce and so on, point this out. It’s happened already and is over and done with. Move on. Don’t let the event define your entire life and affect your relationships with everyone.

Rework the Relationship

Rather than just avoid the person and not tell them why, you could try to rework the relationship. Be honest: “Spending time talking with you drains my energy and I start to feel bad about my life. Maybe we can try to do some positive things together that will give us both some more positive energy.”

Suggest a walk, a workout, seeing a funny movie together, whatever. If you still can’t shift the dynamic, it might be time to start surrounding yourself with more positive people.

Positive energy brings positive feelings. Don’t let negative people drain you.

The Upside of Negative Emotions

In the previous post I looked at Dealing with Negativity and while none of us enjoys negative emotions, thoughts and feelings, these dark clouds can often have a silver lining. If we are willing to pay attention to them and go through a learning process, and thereby determine what this negativity has to teach you.

Trust Your Intuition

Negative emotions can be useful to help us trust our intuition. When we are younger, we might be told we are wrong about a certain thing or person, even though deep down in our gut we feel something isn’t right.

We might meet a person and dislike them instantly and not really know why. Sometimes we can change our minds, but often first impressions can be the correct ones.

We tend to reason things through rather than pay attention to our emotions. Learning to trust your intuition is often the best way to manifest a better life for yourself. If head and heart or intuition are in conflict, examine the negative thoughts to see if they have any validity or basis in reality.

Make Important Changes

Negative emotions can often spur you to make the changes you really need to make in your life in order to manifest your best life. For example, if you have been wanting to quit smoking for some time, but never gotten around to it, dating a new person who hates smoking might make you feel bad for a while, but it might also make you more focused on committing yourself to the change.

Heal the Past

Sometimes negative emotions can come up right out of the blue without any warning signs. You might be lying on a beach enjoying yourself and all of a sudden you got this terrible feeling washing over you that something isn’t right.

In many cases, it will be historical. Something triggers a memory of something negative that happened to you in the past. This usually happens for a reason and can be very beneficial if you pay attention to it rather than try to run away from the bad feeling.

You may not realize that this aspect of your life needs to be healed until the negative emotion signals to you that something needs to be processed and dealt with – if you wish to move on as a stronger and happier person.

Most of us hate negative emotions and want to escape from them as soon as possible. However, sitting with them and reflecting on them can often lead us to significant breakthroughs that can help to move forward in a positive way.

Are Some People More Emotionally Intelligent Than Others?

The concept of IQ (Intelligence Quotient) has been around for decades. However, the idea of EQ (Emotional Quotient) or EI (Emotional Intelligence) became popular in the 1990s as a way of assessing why some people were more successful in the workplace than others. Knowledge from books is important, of course, but researchers noticed that the top performers in their careers all had certain characteristic in common.

They were:

Self-aware
Self-controlled
Able to act appropriate to the emotion being felt
Relating to others effectively, such as showing sympathy and empathy
Relating to others in a range of social situations, such as one-on-one, meetings, team projects, negotiations
A “people person” rather than an ideas person

Research showed that some people had more EI than others. Those who were lacking in EI tended to be in the lowest percentile in terms of work performance, and researchers posited that the personal relationships of underachievers were as difficult as their professional ones.

Learning EI

The good news is that EI can be developed with some focus and discipline. Each of the components above can be learned and improved upon. Working on becoming your best self is always a good idea for the sake of your own personal fulfillment. Working on EI can have the added benefits of improving your career and going from low man on the ladder to the top rung.

How is this possible, you may ask? It’s because in the process of improving your EI, you will become the kind of person who can “win friends and influence people.” People do business with people they like. Becoming more self-aware and self-controlled can serve as the gateway to getting along with others better, and being perceived as someone to be admired and even guided by.

In the same way that some people seem to be born leaders while others study leadership and take action to gain leadership positions, you can learn more about your own emotions in order to maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.
Understanding what makes others tick, being a good listener and problem solver, a team player and a someone in control and not freaking out no matter what happens, are all signs not just of a reliable colleague, but a leader as well – a person others look to for guidance if and when things start to go wrong.

Studying your own emotions can help you learn how to manage them. Note the word “manage,” not “suppress.” No one is expecting you to be a block of wood, but in the workplace, those who can manage their emotions and not fly off the handle (for example) will stand out compared to those who are not able to rein themselves in.

Observing body language in yourself, and facial expression if you look in the mirror, will all give you guidance on the kind of image you are conveying to others. Are you coming off as warm and friendly, or cold, aloof, and arrogant? Are you really just shy? If you feel you are shy, what is making you hold back from others?

Reading the body language and facial expressions of colleagues, bosses, important business contacts, and so on, can help you get through even tricky situations and negotiations because you will be more alert, aware and tuned in to others. Most people don’t like used car salesmen because they’re so pushy. They only care about the sale, not the purchaser. Conveying care and other higher motivations such as improving their lives will create a win-win situation for everyone.

If you’re feeling stuck in your relationships, spend more time on your EI and see what a difference it can make in your life.

Working Out Loud – Reflective Practice In Action

Reflecting on activities, events and projects in your can help you progress from complete beginner to a more skilled person who has learned from their experiences. It is also a useful tool for project teams and indeed whole organisations to adopt in order to improve their performance. It can very much be as Andy Lancaster recently mentioned in a Tweet something akin to “working out loud” as we reflect on our learning throughout a project or piece of work.

Here are some methods that you might want to consider.

Reflect Actively

Active reflection during an activity/project creates the opportunity for improving your performance as you start to spot gaps in your knowledge or things you tend to struggle with. “What should I do now?” is a common question when we are first starting on something. “What could I have done better?” is an example of the kind of question reflective practice raises. The answers you come up with can lead to a greater level of skill and confidence. They can also aid in problem solving and decision making to take a project forward.

Take Action

Taking action about what you find will lead to personal and professional growth and development. If you find any gaps in your knowledge, more studying, a course or webinar, or finding a good coach or mentor can all take your skills to the next level. Adjusting priorities and determining new lines of action within a project can lead to success in the delivery of the project.

Set Goals

Reflective practice can also help you set goals. In terms of your professional development/career will no longer feel like it is not within your control and that things just happen to you at work. Instead, you will be feel more in charge because you know what you want and don’t want. The goals you set with the help of your reflective practice will be like a road map to the destination of your choosing. Otherwise you might end up driving around with no clear direction or with a project going off target and not being delivered.

Achieving your Goals

Once you have defined your goals, it will be time to take the practical action needed to achieve them. For each action that is a stepping stone toward your goal, you can apply reflective practice to make sure you are on the right track.

The Best Ways to Reflect

how can you get started? Here’s an easy formula. You might find it helpful to create a worksheet on your computer and print out several copies. Fill them in and analyse your answers. Again these can be adapted for an individual or a group working together

What happened?
What was my role in the event?
How do I feel about what happened?
Who owns what happened?
What was the outcome of the event?
How was the outcome different or the same from what I expected to happen?
What could I have done better in this situation?
What actions can I take to help ensure a better outcome next time a similar situation crops up?

Answering these questions requires honesty, and the willingness to learn and grow. No one is expecting you to be perfect. However, most people will want to be the best they can be in their profession, so apply reflective practice and see what a difference it can make to you.