mindfulness Archives - Paul Duxbury

Being Mindful You Are Always Learning

We have all heard that experience is a great teacher. Each day of our lives is packed with numerous experiences. Many of these experiences are everyday occurrences such as walking the dog or doing the washing up after dinner. Others are less common. Occasionally, some are so unique that they are literally life changing. However, whether the experience is mundane or out of this world, it offers us a learning moment.

Most of us will, hopefully, come away from a unique experience with a fresh perspective. Yet, few of us grasp the learning opportunity that is present in the day-today activities that, by necessity, take up the majority of our time. Buddhists call this awareness of the learning potential in the commonplace “mindfulness.”

When you begin to be mindful, you see that everything that you do has merit. You start to realise that no matter what you are doing, you can do it better. In our working lives and in our personal interactions, this means that we begin to pay closer attention to every task. You understand that each task fits into others and together they comprise the whole of your activity. If you take a shortcut or cut corners on the smallest of things it only serves to undermine the largest and seemingly most important things.

Likewise, when you attempt to do the most basic of jobs to the very best of your ability this mindful mindset carries over into other areas and brings a new awareness and sense of achievement.

So, use every experience, every day, as a moment to learn. Be mindful of bad or lazy behaviours and work to change them into more positive and productive actions. If you recognise that you are always learning then you will find real benefit from being aware of what you are learning and using that learning.

What Does It Mean to Live in the Moment?

To live in the moment, or in the present, refers to a state of being aware, conscious, alert, in tune with your senses, and focused on what is happening at that particular moment in time. It is the opposite of “automatic living”, that is, just going through the motions.

More importantly, the present is a time during which we stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. We are able to enjoy the here and now.

Our Mind Creates Our World

Our mind is a powerful thing that processes all of our life’s experiences, and is also the instigator of our actions. However, most of the time, we are not even aware our own mind and its full power and potential. We lurch from one thought to the next with no rhyme or reason, and often feel the world is external to us, outside ourselves, and that we have no control over it.

The truth is that living in the present can help you gain the skills you need to take control of your life, through focus and concentration.

We Value What We Pay Attention To

When we concentrate our attention on the present, we focus on the task at hand, such as washing the dishes, gardening, or spending time with a loved one. We are not just sitting next to them on the sofa, with both of us fiddling with our cell phones. We are making eye contact, speaking, listening, and perhaps being affectionate. We give our full attention to what we are doing and we let go of the rest.

Being Mindful So You Can Live in the Moment

The practice of living in the moment is referred to as being mindful – in other words, paying attention. Being mindful when we eat means we enjoy our food more, because we are not wolfing it down. Being mindful as we walk through the park means we can enjoy the beauty of nature, such as the flowers and birdsong. Being mindful of others means that we consider their feelings and reactions and adapt to what we see and hear. It is about quality not quantity, brief moments in the present that take us out of our busy day. We can stop running around propelled by stress and take a short “mini-vacation” through mindfulness practice.

How to Start Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness practice starts with observing things more closely, and then trying to describe them. Imagine washing the dishes. Think of the sight, sound, smell, touch and so on. What does it feel like? How do you feel when you are doing it?

For most of us, this is a dull chore, and one we usually do on autopilot without thinking about it. But thanks to mindfulness, it can become interesting and even fun.

Stopping to reflect on one or two of our actions throughout the day can help us discover the beauty and wonder of all we do. We stop taking things for granted.

We also start to feel more positive energy because we are being less dragged down by the baggage of our past, and are giving ourselves more and more permission to enjoy ourselves and have fun. We are creating special little moments, and through those moments, can feel confident we have more like them to look forward to.

Live in the Moment and Live Every Moment Like It Counts

Life is too short to sleepwalk through it. Adding mindfulness as a daily practice can help you truly appreciate all you have. You will notice your work improves, your relationships get better, and everything starts to feel more effortless and less stressful. It does take practice, but the result is a happier, healthier you with a rich life full of meaning and one where you really do live in the moment.

The Importance Of Self-Awareness

I want to take a look at something I have been talking to a number of people about of late and that is the importance of self-awareness and how to increase your self-awareness as a team leader.

How do you know you are being a good leader? What are the most important traits you need to have to be a good leader? Is there one characteristic that is more important than any other? Some believe it is being a good motivator while others say it’s having integrity. According to psychologist and author Sherrie Campbell it is self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the ability to monitor one’s own emotions and reactions.

“Self-awareness keeps us grounded, attuned and focused,” said Campbell, author of “Loving Yourself: The Master of Being Your Own Person” (AuthorHouse, 2012). “When leaders are grounded, they are able to be efficient and deliberate in staying on task, and being attuned to those around them. Leaders who have the ability to control their minds and emotions help to guide those around them to develop their own self-knowledge and success.”

It can be difficult to master the skill of becoming aware of oneself but it can be done.

Learn to be mindful of your own weaknesses and strengths. Self-aware leaders are mindful of what they can and can’t do.
A mindful leader has strong boundaries in place. It’s fine to be friendly to others but you need to say no when you have to.
Figure out what your emotional triggers are. Self-aware leaders can immediately identify their emotions. You don’t want to limit your emotions or even deny what is causing them. Instead you need to be able to be flexible with them and process them before you communicate with others.
Self-aware leaders embrace their intuition. They trust their gut instinct and are willing to take any risks associated with following them. Instincts come from our need to succeed and the survival of the fittest. Your gut instincts tell you what you should do next. Go ahead and trust them.
When you are self-aware, you are disciplined in every area of your life. Practice self-discipline to help you stay focused as a strong leader.
Those that are self-aware are able to remain focused even among the many distractions in business environments. You need to train yourself to block everything out but what you are focusing on for long periods of time. That means the distractions of social media, emails and office politics as well.
There are a plethora of courses and self-help guides available to help you build your self-awareness. Personality test like the Myers-Briggs Predictive Index and the Strengths Finder are both popular and very good at helping you dig into self-reflection. Some people say that these psychometric tests can be useful for getting an objective view of how you behave.
Being new experiences can help you discover things about yourself that you don’t normally face as I have talked about previously. Your reactions to new people, environments or demands can help you see how you deal with your everyday life. Take a different type of vacation or try a new hobby. A stimulating or energizing activity may help you find hidden talents or other things you didn’t know about yourself.
Tell your life story to your mentor or coach. They will hear and see much more than the words you are saying. It can help them understand who you are and give you feedback on what they see.
Again as I have talked about before trying doing a daily writing exercise. Writing down your thoughts and feelings daily can help you build your emotional confidence. It can also help you keep track of the range of emotions you may be experiencing during any particular period of time when you review it at a late time.

Having a high level of self-awareness helps you be a better team leader by helping you build better relationships. When you know your strengths and weaknesses, you’re better able to control your emotions, and you can face situations from a distant perspective you are seen as a confident leader by your team members.

If you are interested in reading more about self-awareness then do take a look at Sherrie Campbell’s book Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person in the UK or in the USA