Being Kind To Yourself This New Year

In a previous post I talked about the positive benefits of Being Kind to Yourself. Now I am going to look at several ways to incorporate self-kindness into your daily life.

This is probably one of the most critical habits you’ll ever build. Being kind to yourself means you care enough to take care of yourself. You’re striving to be the best version of yourself possible, which is going to have very positive benefits on both your mental and physical self. This is exciting stuff.

On the other hand, you might feel some pushback on this. If you are like most people, you will have been conditioned since an early age to think that self-kindness is a little selfish. You might even find it hard to carry out some of these ideas.

When this happens, you are going to need to sit back and take a moment to breathe. Think about why you are feeling this resistance. If you are having trouble pinpointing just why it’s so difficult, you might want to try journaling or talking to someone you trust who can help you to see what’s really going on. In some cases, you might even benefit from talking things over with a professional.

No matter what, though, don’t give up! Self-kindness has far too many benefits to walk away from it entirely. Give yourself the time to work through any roadblocks, but never stop moving forward. In the end, you’ll be thankful you did.

Grab Some Me Time

If you could do anything right now, what would it be? Taking a little time for yourself to do something you love shows kindness and concern for your mental well-being. We all need a little ‘me time’ once in a while.

Calm Yourself

Take a deep breath. Hold it. Let it out slow. Perhaps one of the kindest things we can give ourselves is a peaceful mind, cleared of stress and soothed of anxiety. Relax. Meditate. It’s okay to give yourself a few minutes to slow your busy mind.

Celebrate Your Accomplishments

What have you done? Every accomplishment is worth celebrating. Kindness acknowledges what you’ve done and makes a big deal out of it. It doesn’t matter if the realized goal was minimal, the point is, you did it. Enjoy the feeling of having accomplished something you set out to do!

Become an Advocate

An advocate is someone who fights for you and takes your side when you need it. Do yourself the kindness of never hesitating to be your own advocate. Stand up for yourself. Don’t let other people put you down. Don’t even let you put you down!

Forgive Yourself

Screwed up something and having trouble letting it go? Allow yourself the same kindness you would for anyone else and forgive yourself the past. Whatever it was, it’s over and done with now. You’ve learned from the experience. Now move on. You gain nothing by continuing to beat yourself up for a mistake.

Embrace Good Health

This is one of the most basic ways of being kind to yourself. Feed your body with good foods. Exercise regularly. Visit the doctor when you need to and embrace positive mental health. A healthy you is a happy you. Strive to be the best you can be, starting right here with your physical and psychological well-being.

Find Some Self-Respect

Why are you second-guessing yourself? It’s about time you realized your decisions are wise. You really do know what you’re doing. Once you’ve thought out a plan of action, be kind enough to give yourself the respect that comes of trusting yourself. Take it further by likewise respecting your opinions enough not to allow someone else to tell you who you are.

Indulge Yourself

What’s wrong with a little treat now and again? Sometimes the kind thing to do is to allow yourself an indulgence. So why not enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or savor a piece of chocolate as you slip into a warm bubble bath? You deserve it!

Participate in a Favourite Activity

This takes the last idea to a higher level. When is the last time you allowed yourself an afternoon at the beach or a hike at your favourite National Park? Whatever your favourite activity is, be kind enough to slip it onto the schedule. Then follow through by going out and doing it. You’ll be amazed at what this does for your levels of contentment and peace of mind.

Find the Good

We’re not always kind to ourselves because we don’t always think we’re deserving of kindness.  When this happens, it’s time to make a list. Write down the things you like best about yourself. Include everything from what makes you smile, down to every talent or positive trait. Keep the list somewhere you can read it often to remind yourself of just how wonderful you are.

Build Yourself Up

Feeling down and having trouble with the list from the previous tip? Try a pep talk. Remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished. Talk to yourself the way you would to a friend who was feeling low. Give yourself a hug.


Kindness gives us permission to dream. Ask yourself the big questions: What do you want to do with your life? What big, glorious thing would you like to accomplish? Keep your dream close, as you will need it for the next tip.

Make a Goal

Don’t just dream. Turn your big idea into a reality by creating a goal from it. What are the action steps you need to take to make this dream happen? List out the steps. It might be you need to break this dream down into several smaller goals. What’s the next logical step? Being kind means allowing yourself to realize your potential.

Embrace Your Potential

Yes, you do have potential. Kindness seeks out the possibilities. It sees the ‘you’ of the future. Use this vision to remind yourself that you’re not standing still, you are, in fact, moving forward toward greatness.

Drop the Perfectionism

How are you being kind by demanding so much from yourself? Give your best effort and allow yourself the privilege of accepting your effort as enough.


Being able to fail is another one of those great kindnesses. It allows you to be human. Embrace the lesson of failure. Move on. Every failure holds an experience that can get you one step closer to your best life…if you are willing to embrace it.

Engage the Senses

Kindness loves the here and now. Close your eyes. What do you hear? What do you smell? When you open your eyes again, what do you see? Explore the world with all your senses. Become mindful of what you’re experiencing.

Find Your Team

Who inspires you? Surround yourself with people who leave you feeling motivated and happy inside. If you typically come away from social situations feeling drained, remember, the right crowd will leave you energized. You might need to make some new friends.

Have That Awkward Conversation

Holding back on sharing deep emotions and conflicts has a way of doing more harm than good. Be kind enough to yourself by talking about those difficult topics with the relevant person. Whether or not the other person is receptive to the conversation doesn’t matter. The point is you need to let out these kinds of things, rather than letting them fester and grow.

Turn off the Electronics

Have you considered living in real life? Show yourself kindness by turning off all the screens and step out into the world. Go meet with friends or make some new ones by getting involved in community offerings.

Drop the Negativity

Being kind to yourself means learning how to look on the bright side. Negativity is what keeps you bogged down in despair and is the basis of our most profound depression. If you catch yourself in a spiral of negative thoughts, it’s time to challenge them. Try rewording them to strip out the negativity, replacing words as needed to put a more positive spin on the situation. It might feel a little Pollyanna at first, but you’ll be amazed at what this does for your mood.

Confront a Fear

Kindness doesn’t tolerate living in fear. If something bothers you, confronting it takes the sting out and no longer gives it power over you. Remember, whatever you fear can be fixed. If you’re unsure how to deal with the more deep-seated fears on your own, ask for help from a counselor or a medical professional. Life is too short to be hemmed in by phobias.

Sleep More

In times of war, not allowing a prisoner to sleep is considered torture and is against the fundamental rights accorded to human beings. So why are you shorting yourself on sleep? Be kind to yourself by going to bed early. You really do need 7-9 hours of sleep every night. Make sure you get it.

Simplify Your Life

Letting go of things that no longer give you joy is a straightforward way to show love to yourself. You need to declutter the objects which weigh you down, just as much as you need to take down the negative thoughts that plague you regularly. This is the only way to experience true peace.

Ask for Help

Kindness means you’re not going to force yourself to go it alone. There are times we all need help, whether it’s to boost our mood or to get past some difficulty. Give yourself an out by allowing yourself to seek outside assistance when you need it.

Treat Yourself Like a Friend

Show kindness and compassion for yourself by treating yourself as a friend. After all, you don’t put down your friends or treat them cruelly. Why should you treat yourself in a way you’d never treat anyone else?

Accept Who You Are

When you’re being kind to yourself, you stop beating yourself up for not being someone different. Instead, you learn to accept who you are and to embrace all those complex qualities and traits that make up you. It’s such a simple thing and is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.


Being kind to ourselves and others as a quiet, yet powerful, revolution. By rekindling kindness, you are inspiring people toward hope. You are encouraging everyone, yourself included, to become the best they can be. You are embracing a mindset and a way of life that can change the world.

It all begins with you!

Embrace the happiness that comes from being at peace with yourself, being kind to yourself and the world around you.

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